Federal Bureaus at Work

From The Federal Octopus, Chapter 4

It has been said of public office-holders that “few die and none resign.” Not only is this quality of tenacious life a characteristic of the administrative bureaus that have embedded themselves in our federal system like malignant tumors, but they exhibit also the most fecund capacity for autogenesis; that is to say, a bureau created today becomes two bureaus tomorrow.

By analogy, the bureau is, in the realm of government, what protozoa are in the realm of zoology. Originating as a single cell they immediately begin to reproduce by fission, a self-division of the body into two or more complete cells. The protozoa abound in stagnant waters, as the bureau can flourish only in the stagnation of public spirit. Protozoa are parasites and the cause of certain diseases, as bureaus are parasitic and destructive of the vigor and health of the body politic. Again protozoa are the simplest and lowest form of animal life, as bureau-government is one of the earliest and crudest forms of arbitrary rule. Protozoa are apparently content to remain protozoa, but there the analogy ends; the bureau is ever striving onward and upward, and not only subdivides itself indefinitely, but each subdivision, in turn, seeks to elevate itself ultimately into a mighty department.

Such is the process we witness in the growth and development of the scores of powerful administrative agencies now operating from Washington, consuming hundreds of millions of taxpayers’ money, many without any constitutional warrant for their existence, and progressively destroying the independence, initiative and happiness of the American people in an effort to standardize them from birth to death.

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